'Tis the season for festivities and joy…but let's not overlook that for many, this time of year can be especially challenging. Along with warm white lights and the merriment of Christmas music, for some, the holiday season brings added social pressures and activities, uncomfortable family dynamics, and financial strain. 

Putting on a cheerful mask is one way that many people try to align with the expectation of feeling “happy” during the holidays. Appearances can be deceiving when it comes to the experience of genuine feelings of happiness during this time of year.  According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), a significant portion of the population experiences heightened stress, anxiety, and even depression during this time of year. The statistics are revealing, with nearly 64% of individuals reporting increased levels of stress and approximately 24% stating that they feel "extremely" stressed during the holiday season (add date and NIMH here). This indicates that many of our family, friends, and co-workers may be hiding the challenges they are experiencing behind closed doors. 

Here are some of the factors that can crank up stress and anxiety during the holidays: 

Social Expectations

The most wonderful time of the year often comes with societal expectations of joy, togetherness, and celebration. It is easy to get caught up in the potential for positive memories heading into the holidays and set unrealistic expectations about the activities we should do and how we should feel. As with most things, the higher the level of expectation, the greater the feelings of disappointment and stress when things don’t go according to plan. When it is not possible to be with family or friends, the holiday season can exacerbate feelings of isolation and loneliness. 

Family Dynamics

Catching up and reuniting with relatives can be a wonderful way to make holiday memories. There is also the potential to trigger old conflicts or stir up unresolved issues. For those with challenging family dynamics, It is important to acknowledge the emotional impact and strain of spending time together with loved ones. Having healthy family relationships during the holidays means setting realistic expectations and sometimes limiting the amount of time spent with relatives. It can feel isolating when we are struggling to endure time with difficult family members when others around us seem to be enjoying time with their kin. 

Economic Pressures

No matter how much you prepare, this time of year brings additional financial demands. Gift-giving, travel costs, secret Santa, and office parties all contribute to a strain on a budget. Again, expectations can have a significant impact on how much we are willing to spend in order to meet an ideal of happiness. 

Reflective Nature of the Season

The end of the year often prompts reflection on one's life, achievements, and goals. Being able to reflect and learn from our experiences is vital to personal growth. For some, reflecting back on the year can lead to feelings of inadequacy and unfulfillment. The loss of a loved one over the past year can also bring up emotions related to the grief of making holiday memories without that person being there. 

So Where Do We Go From Here? If you can relate to any of the stressors above, here are some proactive strategies for planning that can help you prepare for the holiday season:

Plan Your Social Schedule

Planning ahead is your roadmap to success. Start by jotting down key dates and events in a planner. This not only ensures you don't miss out on the festivities but also allows you to manage your time wisely. Break down events into practical steps and create a timeline that feels doable for your situation. If you tend to be over-extended during the holidays, make sure to schedule some quiet evenings at home…and if in doubt, leave it out! If you are missing opportunities for social connection, sign up to volunteer and connect with people in your community. Either way, making a plan will help you think through ways to embrace the opportunity for social connection. 

Plan Your Finances

Part of planning is crafting a realistic budget. A financial compass can keep you pointed in the right direction when considering gifts, travel, and any other fun holiday festivities. Consider using this time of year to practice a mindful approach to your finances. If you have a partner or spouse, take this opportunity to discuss ways that you can incorporate experiences as an alternative to gift-giving. Invite your kids into this conversation as a way to set realistic expectations around spending. Taking time to talk through a holiday budget can reduce tension around financial expectations and focus your energy on meaningful ways to spend time together. 

Plan for Self-Care

Amidst the hustle and bustle make sure to recharge your mental batteries. Whether it's a quiet moment with a book or a brisk walk in the winter air, find what helps you feel a sense of restored energy. Self-care includes using compassionate self-talk if you notice your mind bringing up negative thoughts, criticizing, or comparing yourself to others. 

Plan Your Sleep

With the whirlwind of holiday festivities, a consistent routine, especially regarding your sleep schedule, can be your secret weapon for managing stress. Quality sleep plays a crucial role in regulating stress hormones like cortisol. When you maintain a regular sleep pattern, you support your body's natural circadian rhythm, contributing to a more stable mood. A well-rested mind is better equipped to handle challenges. You'll find yourself more resilient, focused, and ready to embrace the joy of the season.

Every season is different, and every year comes with unexpected delights and challenges. Whenever possible, be flexible and bring gratitude into your experiences. By recognizing the factors that make holidays more difficult and taking time to mindfully prepare, our hope is that this holiday will be filled with warmth, resilience, and moments of genuine joy.