Protecting Your Peace (And Sanity) During the Holidays
The holiday season is often painted as a time of joy, gratitude, and togetherness. Everywhere we turn, there’s an unspoken expectation to be happy; the songs playing in grocery stores, the commercials breaks during our favorite shows, and don’t get me started on the social media influencers glamming up their product lines! “A 2021 survey showed that 3 in 5 Americans feel their mental health is negatively impacted by the holidays.” For many people, this season brings a mixed bag of emotions. There may be grief around someone who is missing this year. There can be feelings of loneliness due to relationship losses. Financial stress can weigh heavily as we compare reality with expectations. All of these factors often lead to guilt for not enjoying the season like we are told we should. Giving yourself permission to feel whatever arises, without judgment, is one of the most compassionate things you can do for yourself this holiday season. Your feelings aren't wrong just because they don't match the season's vibe.
Set Time and Energy Boundaries
You don't have to attend every gathering. You don't have to host. You don't have to explain why you're saying no even if it disappoints people. "I'm not available" is a complete sentence. The people who truly care about you will understand if you aren’t able to attend an event and the ones who don't understand aren't your responsibility to manage. Protecting your peace means choosing the people and activities that are meaningful to you.
Create a new tradition
Maybe that's volunteering somewhere, or signing up for a recreational activity you’ve been meaning to try. Start a ritual like lighting a candle each evening and journaling about your gratitude and growth. Maybe it's a movie marathon with a special hot drink in your pjs, or treating yourself to an out-of-town mini retreat to unwind. Consider attending a faith or meditation service. Even if you don’t attend regularly, these gatherings can feel warm, peaceful, and communal. There's no wrong way to spend the holidays, and sometimes the most radical thing you can do is decide that your version of the season is exactly enough.
Let Go of the “Shoulds”
The holidays can bring a lot of invisible pressure. “I should be happy.” “I should show up.” “I should be grateful.” These “shoulds” often stem from expectations and can disconnect us from how we actually feel. The holidays are complicated because life is complicated. Maybe we can hold space for all of it; the moments that fill us up and the ones that completely empty us out, without judging how we “should” feel. This simple shift turns obligation into choice, and choice is where emotional freedom begins.
Talk to Someone
If you're really struggling, reach out to a trusted friend or a family member. Schedule a counseling appointment with a therapist (Contact us) who can help you navigate your current life situation. Join an online community with others who share your interests. Go to a coffee shop and have a small conversation with the barista. Sometimes just being seen, even briefly, can ease the weight of loneliness. If you recognize you are in a mental health crisis, call or text the national crisis line at 988 for help. The holidays amplify everything we're already dealing with, and there's no shame in needing support to get through it!
The holidays are complicated, and it’s okay if your experience doesn’t match anyone else’s. Whether you’re celebrating, grieving, resting, or reflecting, give yourself space to feel it all. Take each moment as it comes and remember that simply allowing yourself to be is enough.
