The Gift of Presence: Holiday Recommendations From a Therapist
Here comes the holiday season! Time to brace ourselves for the whirlwind of shopping, planning, socializing, and all the little "to-dos" that come with it. While there is joy in festive gatherings and gift-giving, there can also be a constant undertow of stress and an unspoken expectation to “do it all”. As a mental health therapist, I often hear people say, "I can’t wait for the holidays to be over!".
If you notice yourself wishing the holidays away or experiencing anticipatory dread of family gatherings, a few intentional changes can help to create a shift in your holiday experience.
1. Give Yourself Permission to Say “No”
If saying “yes” to every invitation feels overwhelming, honor your boundaries and kindly say “no” when you need to. You’ll feel more energized for the events you choose to attend and be able to bring more presence to the people you love. If you anticipate a long list of “to-dos”, consider adding your “non-negotiable” tasks and gatherings to your calendar and then seeing what remaining days you want to sprinkle in fun festivities. This allows you to say “no” to anything that does not fit within your holiday calendar.
2. Create Relaxed Rituals
Traditions give us something to look forward to every year, and they don’t have to be grand or time-consuming to be meaningful. Some ideas: a quiet evening with candles and a holiday movie or a slow morning making breakfast together. These simple, relaxed rituals allow for mindful connection amidst the holiday hustle.
3. Allow Imperfection
The drive to make everything just right can be exhausting. In that pursuit, we often miss the small, beautiful moments along the way. In fact, sometimes it’s the not-so-perfect moments– family personalities captured in the holiday card, child-engineered decorations, a goofy batch of baked goodies – that bring the biggest laughs and the sweetest memories. Let go of the expectation that things need to be “perfect” for people to enjoy them.
5. Reconnect with Nature
Even a short walk in the crisp winter air can bring a sense of calm and clarity. Exposure to a drastic temperature change will activate the nervous system to produce endorphins and improve mood. Add to this boost the positive impact of looking at nature as a way to ground into the present and remind us of our place in a much bigger world. Bundle up and go outside, even if it’s just to feel the air or admire holiday lights. This simple practice can center your mind and give you a moment of quiet before the day’s bustle of activities.
6. Be Present with Loved Ones
At the heart of every holiday season are the people we care about. Make a conscious effort to put away your phone and fully engage when interacting with loved ones. Look into people’s eyes, listen actively, and soak up their laughter and stories. It’s easy to miss these little treasures if our minds are elsewhere. Moments with friends, family, or even strangers are the ones that stay with you long after the decorations are packed away.
7. Take Care of Your Own Wellbeing
The holidays can be dramatic and sometimes draining, so remember to recharge yourself. Just like recharging your phone, you need to keep your own battery filled to function well and be available for the people you care about. Whether it’s finding time to meditate, journaling, or taking a quick nap when you need it, be mindful of your own needs. Practicing self-care is important for maintaining energy to stay present and enjoy the festivities.
The holidays don’t need to be about checking every box on a to-do list or fulfilling every obligation. The greatest gift you can offer to both yourself and others — is to show up as your authentic self, fully present and open to the magic in each moment. Years down the line, you won’t treasure the hours you spent shopping or decorating, but you will remember the warmth of laughter, the quiet joy of connection, and the peace of taking things just a little bit slower.
*Information from this blog is not intended to treat, diagnose, or substitute as therapy. If you have concerns regarding your mental health, please seek out treatment from a trained professional.
